Travel anywhere can have its elements of danger....

This is a collection of things to be wary of in a big foreign city such as Valencia....

The Spanish equivalent of Max Headroom...

BOLLARDS...be wary of these, they appear innocuous in the extreme, no ears, no eyes they don’t even move they  just squat about in “places”...especially be wary early in the morning, and I don’t mean early in the morning in a healthy, cheery, I'm up early and going for a walk way, I mean quite the contrary, more the early in the morning when you’ve been out and done nothing that is particularly healthy for you (except that the entire evening has been so much fun it’s like food for the soul)

Fat little B**tards

One minute you’re walking along having a great conversation and then well...you’re just not there anymore. Great news is you can actually rescue this with a very graceful recovery and almost no one notices that you where missing for a tick.... Injury sustained Bruised knee

Quiet as a mouse and waiting...

They come in all shapes and sizes

This graceful recovery is a little harder the next day when you’re walking along with the GYT’s talking about it and you walk into another one...thanks to the every lovely Jan and Christoph who then took it upon themselves to walk on either side of me and shepherd me like a sheep.... cheers Guys...Unfortunately they weren’t there yesterday when I did it YET again, outside the Super market...Injuries sustained two bruised thighs

 Plonked about randomly

BREAD STICKS... you will find these in the second most dangerous isle of the SuperMercado (the first being the Running with Sharp things in your Hand aisle which I have thus far avoided)

These little horrors can lead to A: a chipped front tooth and B: a trip to a Spanish Dentist....

What an adventure! Especially (no real surprises here) when the forms to fill in (and the staff) are Spanish... and as much as they were all very jolly, when they said the word “roto” I'm afraid I downed my pen and said Nup, I can’t do this...(I could only imagine my lovely teeth ending up on the Black “white tooth” market), anyhooo, the very kind receptionist came back about 15 minutes later with a down loaded English version of the form Roto actually means chipped....

A delightful Spanish dentist (trained in the US and dying to speak English) sorted it all out in  no time and didn’t even charge me, bless him, I took them back a big fat bag of chocolates (which is possibly a very Non PC gift for a Dentist, but I had verbs waiting for me back at school and had to go)...Injury sustained one chipped tooth.

THE METRO... for those who know me well, you would know that I have no real affinity for public transport, yes its true I have been known to jump in a cab outside the Subiaco Hotel and say “don’t bother with the metre driver it’s a cashie” but in my defence it was raining...I’m sure it was :0)

I gave this a bit of "Film Noire" treatment for mysterious public transport adventures

Ahyhoo under the tutelage of the A team, I caught the Metro! Things I learnt, have your Euros ready because you look a bit silly scrambling for change when the train is coming, thanks to everyone who lent over the top of me and fed the machine with money so I could have a ticket and get on the same train! Check your zones (yes A and B are different) and don’t jauntily swipe your card and then try to go OUT  the IN door, it doesn’t work....Injury sustained NOTHING ! Note to self: Must catch public transport more often :0)

MAPS...Maps can be "broken" they do NOT always take you where you think you're going, it seems I am a broken map magnet, AND frankly Im astonished and amazed that some incredibly talented and gifted "bloke" hasn't designed a map that folds up really beautifully... What is WITH that!

Please note the Pony Skin rug, the very one that Antonio and Javier would be booted off because I have homework!

This is not a danger but a worthy inclusion as a hot Travel Tip all credit to my lovely friend Trish...

When travelling alone, always go to the bathroom before you collect your luggage... Brilliant!

As you can see, it's not all beer and skittles, but it's all happening with a smile on my face and I'm having a ball!

Thanks for sharing xxx